Howlers of the week 2010/12

These are all genuine sentences and paragraphs that were written by students in their write-ups for the 2nd year practicals, or library projects, or in exams. Remember that spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and errors of logic are all entirely theirs, and have been reproduced exactly as they appeared on the student's script.

2nd year Teaching Lab experiment on Colloids (formal write-up)

However, as [S]₀ increases, micelles become more numerate.
A quencher is a molecule which increases the amount of quenching
The values determined in this experiment were found to be less precise than those in the literature, deeming them less reputable.
The mean aggregation number and the critical micelle concentration were measured using a fluourometer.
The concentration was [Q]/(old m^-3).
This is however a very random process and thus passion distribution statistics is needed to analyse the data.
It is also clear that as the changes in intensity were not large enough to accurately state that a change had occurred
When first made, the SDS solution had within the solution a vast amount of precipitate.
The experimental value obtained contains the literature value within its error.

The probe had to co-inside with the conditions.

Abortions and emissions of luminescent probe must be of convenient wavelengths.

Nonionic surfactant molecules may cluster together in swarms of 1000 or more

The N value was twice bigger than the literature and the CMC value was just a third of the literature.

The predicted and experimental results did not collaborate/

Exams

CO is mobile on a surface - there is a good president for this.
Langmuir assumed all positions with the same energy.
The surface is homologous.
In STM you use a very sharp neddle.
N2 slides across the surface until it meets a hydrogen.
A p-type dopant adds a an extra orbital to a substrate.

The Nobel prize was controversial at the time because Fritz Haber was a german.
The Nobel prize award to Haber was controversial because he was an evil man who didn't care for his wife so she killed herself.
The Nobel prize was controversial because mustard gas is evil.
Before the Haber process, Germany used to buy masses of bird poo from South America.
Haber was awarded the Nobel prize for his effort, but because of the use of this process to make weapons that killed millions of people in the trenches, the award could be thought to be ever so slightly controversial; even with the other advantages of this process, such as a route to nitrogen-based fertilisers. I guess some people are never happy.
It was controversial because Haber invented the gas that was used in the Holocaust. And as a result his wife wasn't very happy.
Nobel award rewards acts of peace, things that bring good. Haber done evil things.

Projects

This spectrum did not show a drastic peak.
Information levels of glucose were monitored at negative potential by censoring the current change.