HOME-WHO?-LAWS-ENTROPY-TECHNO' -DOWN'S-MERCHANDISE-LINKS

NEWS FROM THE PHYSICS FRONTIER.
IN A STARTLING NEW DEVELOPMENT IN THE FIELD OF PHYSICS, U.C BERKELEY PROF.
ERWIN BRODINGER CLAIMS TO HAVE PROVEN MURPHYS LAW. THE "LAW" WHICH 
STATES THAT ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG WILL DO SO AND AT THE WORST 
POSSIBLE MOMENT  - - - WITH QUANTUM MECHANICS. . . . . . 

"I won't go into details " said Brodinger, "because it would take 50 years to 
understand them ( if you're lucky ), suffice to say that computer simulation 
has shown that, given the universe's most probable configuration, the 
quantum mechanical state corresponding to an intelligent being saying
 'holy  s!£t I'm f#$&ed' in it's native language happens to be an extremely
 likely one. "This is just one of several theoretical predictions I have worked 
out which show the validity of Murphys law".

Perhaps the most significant of these other predictions is what has become 
known in the physics community as the paradox of Brodinger's dog.

"Basically, the idea behind Brodingers Dog is that when a poodle takes a, er, 
well, when he goes for a number , the resulting doodle isn't really here, there
or anywhere in particular. It's in a quantum-mechanical superposition of 
locations, smeared out exponentially over a 10-foot or so radius - - until,
that is, an observer steps into the general vicinity. Then, and only then 
does it decide where it really is. As it turns out, unfortunately, 97.4% of
the time it decides it's right under the observer's foot."

Does this hold only for poodles?

"Well, while doing the calculations, I made a minor simplification:
in the models I used, the dog was assumed to be about half the size
of an atomic nucleus. 
While I'm positive this assumption would not prevent my results from 
applying to small dogs, like ,say German Shepherds."

In collaboration with another Berkeley professor, Weiner Heifenburg
Brodinger also helped to formulate the Heifenburg Certainty Principle,
which is stated as follows:
the certainty that you are about to make an incredibly stupid and
embarrassing mistake is directly proportional to the total importance
of the people currently watching you.

Brodinger says his work was inspired by an instance last summer
in which he was maimed by a pack of rabid platypuses marauding the
south side of campus. "Right before a hot date I had that night too",
the professor said. . . . .